5 Easy Tips for Turning Reaction into Choice

November 15, 2017By Cherie Doyen


Today’s conversation is about one of our super powers.

Dissociation… Astral Travel… Lucid dreaming… Time travel.

It is interesting how closely the spiritual realm parallels “Mental Illness”

Have you ever wondered why there is no research around what happens to us when we dissociate?

We know that when a person has an adult traumatic event that there is documentation of numerous people having similar kinds of experiences… Like being able to watch the docs working on them or seeing people in the room with them. They can describe events that occurred around them or to them while unconscious. Or the near-death experiences where they experience different realms.

Those of us that dissociate have much the same experience we can watch our bodies be persecuted or we travel…

Astral Travel is the ability to project ourselves in another time… reality or dimension.

Lucid dreaming is the ability to be awake and affect the events of the “dream”

My last shrink says to me I see you. You have all the right facial expressions your responses are on point but you’re not in there. Hmm. I don’t know how to help you but you’re not in there.

Okay I was grateful for his honesty but what do you do with that. If I’m not in here where am I? If he doesn’t know how do I fix it then who does?

I went to healers. They brought me home… not sure… I felt slightly better for a few days then I was right back where I started. Empty and hollow. Like I could see the world but I couldn’t touch it

Back to the books. I follow my nose and it leads me to Astral travel… time travel… lucid dreaming. These abilities are the same action or process… same result as dissociation. We are making the choice to leave our bodies. We are interacting with other dimensions visiting different realities. It is a choice a treasured skill. Only the spiritually learned can accomplish it. The government trains their highest spies to take their essence into different spaces and see.

Okay so that’s a different conversation… one is a choice and one is a reaction… today. It was a choice the first time that we needed it. We already knew how to do it. No one had to explain it to us. And we did come back in the beginning but trauma after trauma we forgot where home was.

How cool are we for being able to do that?

Those out there who do research. Those that look at the world through adult eyes. They are trying to fix us. What if we don’t need fixing at all. What if we just need to understand.

I mean these kids were super heroes.

So here are a few tips for turning your reaction into a choice. Here’s the deal right now your magic is using you rather than you using it.

  1. Each morning check in. If you can see yourself sitting there drop into your body. Take all of your awareness to your fingers and toes. Find your pulse there.
  2. Spend 10 minutes in silence. Now I know you don’t have time or that you can’t sit still. But you can… if you choose it.
  3. Check in periodically though out your day. Are you watching yourself move through your day or are you seeing through your eyes.
  4. Let go of the label. We get so attached to the validation that the label seems to bring us that we totally buy into their idea of illness. Release it. You can create ceremony by writing all the negative words that come to your mind when thinking of dissociation and burn it.
  5. Do some research. Research astral travel, lucid dreaming, time travel. Let your curiosity guide you like a child on a treasure hunt.

Here is where you got tangled up. Your child self didn’t disappear when bad things happened. She used her magic and she got the heck out of there.

Our adult rational minds cannot fix this. We have to retrace our steps. Using our magic today. We have to remember. You did that you do that. And today you can make it a choice.

I really want to speak to you about what you are bumping up against in your life so please reach out at support@CherieDoyen.com. Now remember I have a map and a flashlight and I am ready to come in and get you out of there… If You Choose!

Just like the amazingly resilient dandelion… When We Fly… We Multiply!

Welcome Home

November 9, 2017By Cherie Doyen


This conversation goes out to all of you that battle that deep inner loneliness… emptiness. I want you to listen up. I am going to leave you today with a really simple exercise that is going to change your life.

I get it disassociation was my middle name. My first time out… or the first time I can remember I was 6-month-old. My life was compounded one thing after another. Barely time to rest in-between. We do what is necessary to cope.

My body was exhibiting my inner world exactly. In plain sight my soul cried for help.

My body became more and more transparent. Physically. My blood pressure was so low I could barely stand without slipping away.

I weighed 98 lbs. Food was my enemy. And in a sick way the world saw my bodies dysfunction as beauty. My will to live matched my blood pressure. And the worlds answer? Dope her up even more.

You know we can become so tangled in the past that we can’t see the good when it does show up. Our suffering swallows us up. The most life altering words were said to me by Deepak Chopra… Pain happens but suffering is a choice. How long ago has it been since you were last hurt… For a moment, I had no words, then the anger rose up and I was indignant. I did not choose what happened to me. No, he says but you have chosen what came after.

It took me years to fully embody the meaning of that.

In my last big episode, I melted to the floor. My husband gets me conscious enough to get to the car and again in the car I slip away. This time there was a consciousness to it. I could perceive without being able to see. And I knew I had a choice to make and I wasn’t really ready.  So, I hung in limbo. I was in the hospital for days… my head splitting for the lack of ME. Their answer morphine… morphine. I refused with an inner knowing that I wouldn’t survive drifting any further away from my body. The choice to go and not come back would have been way too easy.

Life is a choice.

I had to decide that this body was not my enemy and worth fighting for. That I was worth fighting for. Taking care of me had to come first.

And from this point on I became driven and led alternately to find freedom for me and you.

The gifts that kept us alive are using us today. Your magic has become a reaction instead of a conscious action. So, over the next weeks we will walk through many of these brilliances and turn their energies around so that you can start driving the car. It’s time to learn to drive that Ferrari and see what she can do.

Now remember this is going to be fun. No ruminating. It’s like a puzzle in reverse. We are deconstructing what was and building what we want to see one choice… one intention at a time. So, the goal is to approach this with the energy of a rollercoaster. When we get on, we experience a fear mixed with excitement. We call it fun… Remember?

So today I am going leave you with a simple exercise.

Get comfy

Close your eyes


Take your awareness to the ceiling

Drop down into your corpus colosseum

Draw back the energy behind your eyes

Drop your eyes down into your heart space

Rest here in this space you are home. Study what that feels like. Follow the energy as if fills up and warms up your body.

Now this is a check in. We can’t accomplish much in the outer or inner world if we aren’t in our bodies. So, over the next week play with this. Anytime you feel overwhelmed. Anytime you feel anxious. Cold or empty lonely. Call yourself back home.

If you are here listening, you are embarking on the most intense study of your life and the subject is you. Winning at this game is about knowing you better than anyone else. Knowing what you want. What you like. Who you want to be.

My goal is to leave you each week with a tool or a new thought that can help you create change. Understand your geniuses and take a bow to the magic and strength that got you to where you are today. Some of the upcoming topics are listed here. I would love to hear from you. And Hey I have a map and a flashlight and I am coming in after you… If you choose. J

Let’s book some time and get to know one another… http://cheriedoyen.com/schedule-your-appointment/

Cherie’s own life is a testimony to her motivation, determination, and healing power. I knew her while she still carried her childhood sorrows, and when she started seeking healing through meditation, intuition, and other spiritual practices, the transformation in her was profound. You could feel the light and joy around her, as she grew into her sacred purpose. My own life is divided like a book into two parts, and Cherie is the stitching seam that divides those parts: Part I: BEFORE I met Cherie. Part II: AFTER I met Cherie. To know Cherie is to be transformed by her. She taught me to meditate; to take responsibility for my own happiness and that of my children; to face the truth, even if it is ugly; to live in truth and authenticity, instead of pleasing or “face-flipping in order to survive; to risk rejection if that is the consequence for being real; and best of all: how to BE A MOM who honors, respects, listens to, and guides her children into their destiny. My family was torn apart by alcoholism and many other wounds. We were a mess. Cherie transformed me and my relationship with my children, who now know their worth, are also taking responsibility for their lives, and who…laugh and play again. I love her and consider her my spiritual mom, and I will forever be grateful for the difference she has made in my life.

Guilt… Shame & The Survivor

November 1, 2017By Cherie Doyen

This is a common theme I see in people who have experienced extreme forms of trauma. Incest, Rape… male or female is the guilt and shame.

The perpetrator walks on guilt free… no remorse… to do it again.

The survivor is left with a backpack full of rocks.

Is that why they can keep going? Is that why their acts getting more brazen each time?

This is not yours. He saw a weakness and he took advantage of the opportunity.

Well first off guilt is a wasted emotion, especially in this case.  If our energy cannot illicit change, we are spinning our wheels. And we all know how much energy that takes. The twinge of guilt is only useful if it spurs a guilty party into the next right choice. Here, it’s an absolute waste…. And misplaced. What if to keep the waters as calm as possible we swallowed up any energy’s that could possible create more agitation for our aggressor. In situations like this we do it with our words. We do it with our actions and we do it with our energy.

Children are amazing at doing this they sweep it all up, dump it into one big file and we label it. In time, we have no way of distinguishing his guilt from our pain.

And he is guilt free… clean… you were the vacuum.

And then the shame.

We want to tell ourselves that we don’t want anyone to know. How are they going to see me? Are they going to act different?

In truth, it is you. It is you that feels differently. It is you that has started running and has left so much behind. And around that there is shame.

And where they left off we took over. We abuse ourselves.

We abuse the version of us that is trapped in that moment by denying them. By denying that they survived that. They won that particular battle and instead of claiming her a hero you ran off without even a thank you. We are denying our breath and even if we have never thought about that before…  you can feel a stir in your body right now. If you aren’t validating their experience… If you aren’t seeing their heroism, then who will. And the adult version of ourselves. The version of our self that wants to just get back to life as quickly as possible and divorce ourselves from our truth they feel guilty. There is guilt around our choice to be just another watcher.

So… Here are a couple of trigger resets when we get on the guilt & shame train.

  1. Is there an action that I can take today to change the outcome of the situation?
  2. Do your thoughts line up with the reality of the circumstance in question?
  3. And the biggest one of all… Is this mine?

Man, Woman… or Child under extreme circumstances we do what is necessary to survive.

Take a bow to yourself. Go look yourself in the eye in the mirror and say thank you for fighting for me when no one else would. You are a hero!

If you or any one you know is struggling with life after trauma please. You don’t have to suffer. There is life after. I got out and I have a flashlight and I am prepared to come back in and get you out of there. Cheriedoyen.com For support you can email me at support@cheriedoyen.com with what you are bumping up against in your life and we can speak to it. If you are feeling that way so are so many others.