Most anytime we are struggling with our self-worth, the struggle is within ourselves. Many of us have spent a lifetime reaching outward. We find our identity in our men, or our status…. in our jobs, in our kids. The labels we carry are who we are. We look outward to be told how to dress, what to eat, how our bodies should look… the perfect 10?
We just so desperately want to be seen… we are wanting to be heard. We want to have value.
By who? And why?
Why is it that we want so desperately for this particular person or group of people to see our worth?
In our struggle to be normal, we forgot that normal is average. Average is not something that we cognitively choose in our grades… in our careers. Yet in our lives, within ourselves… normal is what we crave.
Those of us that can’t walk in a line or choose not to respond to the bells are pushed to conform. Those that art pours out of their fingers, have trouble paying attention to what normal entails. Musicians… yet the pull of the linear structures of our society have us constantly bumping our heads and hitting walls.
I’m not pretty enough… I’m not smart enough… she doesn’t like me. They don’t listen. I am not educated enough. So we find the man with the knife and we allow him to reshape us.
As we have talked about so many times, we are always attracting our compliment. So in our push for acceptance, we are operating from the energy of lack. When we feel ugly, we have our energies pulled in. Our light is closed off.
We are seen how we show up energetically.
When we feel sexy and confident the world knows it. We carry ourselves completely differently. The light bounces in our eyes.
Now some of us bear generational and societal patterns– cycles of poverty or domestic violence, uneducated, sexual abuse, homosexuality.
Prejudice and judgment, rules in general are conceived out of fear. And is that because in some way we can identify with what we claim to hate? Is there some ancestral pull of pain that triggers this hate for the hate we once endured?
Our stories create separation.
It is interesting that what is hated in one story is revered in another. In Native American cultures, before the influx of the white peoples, the two spirit peoples were revered. Men who married men and women who married women. They were held in esteem. They often carried the titles of visionaries. They were the healers… the caregivers of the tribe. Each of us has male and female tendencies. Some believe that when these two live in perfect balance within one body, we have found perfection… enlightenment. Much as Taoism’s Yin-Yang. Yang the male and yin the female. The two halves fit together perfectly to complete wholeness.
It is only today that we hold such fear and contempt. Is it because we are at a time in our evolution where we are rising to the point of completion, and this elicits fear in those that are just beginning to feel the surge? Say men that can identify with the attraction that is seen in other men? They feel the stirrings of the rise of their feminine side and it frightens them?
Fear breeds hate.
What if amidst all of this hate someone shows up with outstretched arms? Would you even see? Would you know that they were standing there?
Probably not, because in your story, nobody cares. They have all turned their backs on you. In your story, you are invisible. Does that mean that it is true? Absolutely not. It means that you cannot see yourself. The universe is a mirror to what exists inside of ourselves. Every little shadow piece of you is showing up in those around you… the ones you choose to see. What they are playing on the outside, you are hiding on the inside… somewhere.
Five people in a room five different stories. Five different experiences.
“If we change the way we look at things the things we look at change.” -Dr. Wayne Dyer
It’s all a matter of perception.
Does the color of a person’s skin affect their brain capacity? Does a person’s sexual orientation affect their ability to spread kindness? Does being homeless affect your ability to show compassion?
We take back our power one choice at a time. Maybe you have been in a situation where you haven’t felt like your choices were your own. Or you feel like you don’t have any.
We are all given a big bucket of choices when we started this game. One for each moment. We may sit back and allow them to be used by someone else or we can start, one choice at a time, to play the game of our own volition. Make mistakes. Who cares? We learn from experiences. If we sit inside in fear we aren’t making progress. We are still sitting at the start.
What if… we all decided that we are enough? That average wasn’t something that mattered so much.
Then maybe the world would find balance.
What if we lived in a world like Ancient Greece where people were encouraged to develop their own individual talents instead of being forced into a system that forces straight lines and bells?
If each of us were bringing to the table our unique talents and gifts the world would operate like a well oiled car. We wouldn’t all be shoved into the few “acceptable” lanes. Maybe we would again be allowing the Michelangelos and the Albert Einsteins to emerge.
In our attempt to mold ourselves into the idea of what we deem “normal” or acceptable, we lose what makes us “us.” We came here with a uniqueness that is absolutely necessary for the world to be operating at its best.
We have to become what the world needs to see. The biggest most expanded version of you that you can imagine… and then more!
You are always… always… ALWAYS enough!