As women, I think most of us fall under that trajectory of “one in three” women. We all have either experienced or are experiencing the repercussions of childhood sexual encounters. Our world is chock full of the aftermath. As much as we would like to think… I’m over it– or we try to minimize it, oh, it was a long time ago. Our entire energy system is operating from a breached state. We learned along time ago to turn off the notifications. No alerts. We quit seeing the red flags. We learned to be unaware of people coming and going, invading our space which brings with it almost a lack of responsibility for it.

Not on purpose..

We have sucked our energy in tight, as if pulling the covers over our heads, and quit looking… Our energy field has the potential to expand out to fill a room. We have all been in situations where… Say we are at a gathering and in a small group of people chatting and “that” person enters the room. You know it is them without even turning around. The whole energy of the room shifts as heads turn to see who is approaching. Now this can happen in great, and not so great, ways. Right?

So what if you had your energies pulled in tight, and you were unaware of her approach until she was standing right beside you? There is no time for action instead we are fumbling around searching for a reaction to her presence. She is smack dab in your space and you were completely unaware until she reaches out and touches you. Or “He”… A predator doesn’t choose the strongest most aware person in the room. He is going to find the one that he can enter her energies easily. Reach out and touch her without warning…

One of the first exercises I do with women is to see how close I can get to them before they sense my presence. I have them sit in a chair in the center of the room with their eyes closed. I want them to sense me in their energies. If I can walk right up to them while they are TRYING to sense me… playing this game… then they are walking into the world each day in a vulnerable state. I could be anybody.

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In sucking our energies in close, we have turned off our notification system. Standing in our emotion, they have nothing to tell us. We are standing in the situation before we get the danger message.

Using the analogy of our house… Our house being your energy field… Your bedroom being you. We don’t install our home security system on our bedroom door. Right? No it goes around the outside perimeter of your home.


Long, long ago… the “giants” walked in and out with little deterrence from our small little system. We didn’t think it was working properly so we turned off the notification or alerts because it didn’t matter anyway. It didn’t help at all. It became more upsetting hearing them go off repeatedly, so we pulled the covers over our heads and there we still are.

In this state, our energy pulled in tight, alarm system installed on our bedroom, our emotions or notifications pulled in tight around the bed. We have no time to act. There is no knock on the door. No door bell. We react from a place of eminent danger. System breach.

So here is how I see it…

In the west, we have been taught to stand firmly in our feelings or our emotions… own them. We live there. “I feel” is our go to… While in the east, they teach detachment from emotion.

I don’t like the word detachment, but one thing to know to be true is that emotion colors things. The pearl of truth grows a fungus that takes on the form of a story. Soon the story– which is layered with leftover hurts– takes over and claims a form of truth and we are sidetracked into a cove of muck. When we are making decisions from a place of emotion, we most often regret them. If we are reacting from a place of emotion, once calm, we regret our choices or wish we had approached it in a different way.

Emotion is not truth.


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So what if instead of detachment we thought in terms of diffusing our emotions of unprocessed energies and moving them out away from our bodies.

Back to the woman in the chair. Her energies expanded out. She sees her emotions within her field as colored dots. Where are they? Are they hovering close to the body?

Our emotions, diffused of old stored up energies, were meant to notify us of activity around us. Good and not so good. What if from 6 feet out, you became aware of someone approaching you. You had time to process the way it feels, what intentions they are coming at you with. You may have a different response than if you were first noticing them as they grasp a hold of your arm. Fear shows up.

Ummm… a little late for being useful.

So we take those emotions and expand them out as well. We move them to be lined up equidistant around the outer edges of our field. Often the emotions close to the body are the ones we REALLY need to hear before we are smacked with something.

Now when we look out past the edge of your field, are there any that you need to pull closer? Often, I find that the things we like to feel slip by us because our alert for joy, or laughter, or play, or happiness, are floating out in no man’s land– and we don’t even notice. So gather them up and mix them in. In the end, you should see yourself at the center of a radiating circle with your multicolor dots lighting up all around you.

Do you see where I am going here?

What if you got the notification that there was a scary person entering your field at the top of the stairs. You have time to be present and acting from a place of clarity and truth.

In this situation you have choices.

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