Healing from “what was” most always takes us for a barren walk through “Why me?” “Why am I here?” “What’s the purpose of it all anyway?” Some of us get tired enough on the inside that we just sit down.
I think we can all relate to some degree. We get melancholy or wake up feeling blue. It lasts for a moment. For others, it’s a way of life. We talk ourselves out of bed in the morning. We talk ourselves into going to work… maybe.
Depression is a complete sense of lack and helplessness. A spiritual crisis. We want to believe that there is something out there that is bigger than we are. We want to believe that something has our back. That there is a rhyme or reason to the struggle. But…
Happiness set point.
Our happiness default, so to speak, some say is in place at birth, a gene that runs in families. Some say early life experience plays a major role. Others say it stands firmly next to our self esteem and our self worth. I would say all play a part.
Happiness essentially lies in our ability to see good in our environment. I think when “what was” was, well… it behooved us to look for discrepancy. We maneuvered situations by being hyper-vigilant concerning what was wrong or out of sync in our environment. All of our attention was required.
When we were caught up in being happy and not paying attention we got sideswiped.
So there almost grew a fear around the thought of happiness.
Staying out of trouble, dodging landmines, was a full time job. Happy was a luxury you didn’t have time for. Sound familiar?
So we have to learn it.
Happiness comes from the inside out. It comes after our basic needs are met… And for some, that’s a great big… Finally!
Food… shelter… and clothing.
With worry removed over sustaining the basics, happiness can be cultivated.
So here we are now… as adults with our hyper-vigilance switch stuck in high gear. We forgot we even turned it on. We are depressed… not sleeping. We watch and analyze every move… especially our own. Even though we are out of the dangerous circumstance, we are living life searching out the ”bad!”
Everyone we meet is put under the microscope… and guess what? We find something… always!
The problem is it has been to our advantage up until now to have our awareness focused on faults or discrepancies between people’s words and their actions. But now… this old dated program leads us down an alley of loneliness.
Even when we know we are doing it, we know no one can withstand the microscope. They are doomed. And yet… disappointment followed by an emptiness fills the space where hope lived for a second.
Quantum Physics says that each and every scenario for each and every moment is happening all at the same time. We experience life based on where you choose to look. Or what you choose to think.
We see life on a trajectory. We get used to looking at things in a certain way, making choices based on the same framework of beliefs. This is how it works with clairvoyance. A seer’s information is based on your trajectory of choices. They follow your train of action out into the future to speculate on your circumstance. A slightly different choice brings about a slightly different outcome.
I did an experiment. My friend and I went to the same psychic. The woman had a propensity to see pain. I decided before going in that whatever she told me that was negative, I would use for a springboard for change. My friend hung on every word. She thought about it. She worried about it. She talked about it to everyone she met. All of her attention was focused on what was coming.
Every piece of her story came true. Not one piece of mine.
Life is about where you choose to look.
We have to learn to see differently. We have to turn the hyper-vigilance switch off.
One of the first steps in filling the emptiness is looking outward. It never takes long to see that although your hurts are valid, there is always someone somewhere whose experiences are just as heavy if not worse. Extending a hand to someone in need opens the door to the Universal Law of giving and receiving. We most often hear this law spoken of in the form of money. For us its connection. Extending a hand to someone in need will turn that attention back our way. “There’s a lot of good research that shows these kinds of actions can have a positive impact on life,” Riba said. “In general, people who help others stop focusing on their own pains and problems and worries and feel good about themselves.”
Giving is like a boomerang. You throw it out, it will come back in like kind. It may feel foreign at first just do it. Document at least one random act of kindness per day. Carry a little journal in your purse.
For those with the hyper-vigilance switch on. Each time you catch your mind picking and searching to find fault, pull out your gratitude journal and equalize the situation by documenting at least 3 things that you can be grateful for, right here… right now. Look at your environment closely. I’m not talking about ethereal things like… I’m grateful for my family. I want you to look closely for what is supporting you in your environment right now. Did someone show up today to hold the door open when your hands were full… or were you running late and a parking space opened up right as you were pulling up? Learning to see differently requires us intentionally turning our attention. Write them down. Say them out loud. The next person you see, walk up to them and share. The coolest thing happened to me just now. Not only are you solidifying your experience, but you are sprinkling a little of your magic on someone else’s day.
If you find yourself caught in the loop. Stop. Change your position physically. Stand up if you are sitting. Go for a walk outside if you are pacing.
Set the intention: Each step is walking me out of the loop and into clarity.
We have grown up with an arms length idea of how it’s supposed to be. Bonding, in the up close and personal way, intimacy, is meant to be learned through relationship with parents and siblings. We have to learn to allow someone inside our bubble without putting them under the microscope. Get a pet.
Unconditional love? Does that really exist?
Get a pet.
Creating a relationship with a furry friend can be the beginning to learning to turning the switch off and open to receiving love. Unconditionally, they give.
They force us out of the house. Dog lovers love to chat about their pets, opening doors for relationships with people. They keep us in the game of life.
And just for the record, we are the only species on the planet that has to read out of books how to love. They say our brain releases the same endorphins when loving our pets as when we have an orgasm. You can pet your dog anytime. No matter who is in the room. 🙂 So just breathe it in… learn and allow.
Nature, The Great Mood Stabilizer
Get outside. Scope out an unpopulated spot if you can. Left to it’s own devices, nature quickly creates order and balance.
Here’s the secret… the only thing out of sync in nature is you.
The pills are just trying to duplicate what nature gives us for free. Soak up the vitamin D. Pull out your gratitude journal and find a spot next to water. Lean back against the trunk of a tree and allow it all to work its magic. Open to the universe with the intention of thinking a new thought and having a new experience. Trees, water, the scents and oils… It is all there to interact and balance.
Our root chakra develops from birth to the age of seven. Our childhood circumstances create and support that which the rest of our system stands. Here is where we find the hyper-vigilance switch. Here is where we locate the off button. Meditate on the root chakra. The color of the root is red. Ask to be shown what you are missing with your microscopic view.
Add foods to your diet that support your root chakra such as carrots, potatoes, parsnips, radishes, onions and garlic, and anything else that roots itself. Get a double whammy with beets which root themselves and also vibrate with the color red. Snag this recipe from Gaia.com!
Share Your Story!
For National Child Abuse month, we are gathering the stories of women. We want to learn from you. There are so many who are ready to hear. There are so many who could benefit from your experience and wisdom. In breaking the silence, we have the opportunity to learn from those who have gone before us. Together, we combine our stories to create a movement towards safety for our children and freedom for our women. I plan to scholarship a 6 month package and each woman who submits will get a free 45 min call, along with membership to our private Women Rising Facebook group. At your discretion, I will be posting, referencing and reflecting upon your stories in articles for our upcoming Untangle Your Story series. And in the not so distant future, we hope to compile our stories to create a documentary chock full of the culmination of your wisdom. Watch out… Women are Rising!
Submit your stories at untangleyourstory.com.
Seminars and Women’s Gatherings:
I am hosting two full day seminars where we will focus on healing from the inside out. On Day 1 of this intimate interactive workshop, we will dive deep into use meditation and energetic basics to bring balance to mind and body. Day 2, we will untangle some of the most common ailments and struggles for women today and how to create lasting change in your lives. Classes are complimentary but can be taken independently. Many thanks to Heart Body and Soul, 1004 W Worley St, in Columbia Missouri, for having us there. Please call 573-777-6771 to register, space is limited. $39 independently, $69 bundled. Lunch is included.
Women have been gathering in circle, sharing their wisdom and their pain, finding support and creating community forever. Making use of the group dynamic quickens everyone’s healing and transformation. Cherie Doyen facilitates and offers the support of her intuition, personal experience and education in finding clarity and healing. We laugh… We cry…. We pray… We meditate… We Heal From the Inside Out!
7:00 p.m. Every Monday • 4822 Santana Circle • Columbia, MO
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For more information, please contact me directly at CHERIE@CHERIEDOYEN.COM or by phone at 573-424-3025.