With four colleges in our little town, there is an influx of a couple of thousand young people each year. Many have never been away from home. Many come from homes they are trying to escape. They come from all over the world. Many cultures stand together as they face this new world. They stand in unison in this core fear. Being separated from all you know. Good, bad or indifferent, change is hard, even for those whose pasts are scar free. In their need for community and closeness, our concern is turned toward acceptance and we forget to pay attention. We put substances in our system that puts the guard at the gate asleep. Partially to numb, partially to put the awkwardness at ease. And then something bad happens. You don’t even know whether to tell anyone because your memory is fuzzy. You feel violated, yet guilty at the same time. You doubt… you!
Rape has become an epidemic on the college campuses. These young women have just, ever so recently, stepped out of childhood now they are trying to maneuver this huge sea of people. Some move forward with discernment while others stumble through finding themselves in situations that are dangerous and if not dangerous, compromising. As adults the cycles continue… Why?
Let’s think for a moment from the perspective of the how we are chosen. If we think in terms of the animal kingdom the hunter, say the lionesses, they sit back and watch. They enter the space of the herd energetically to discern the exact creature. The one that they decide is the most vulnerable and will be the easiest to take down. They don’t choose the strongest in the herd. The same goes for us ladies. They are going to be assessing us and the woman they choose is not going to be the woman standing in her power. He will fear Her. Instead, he is going to gravitate to those of us that have left back doors open. Situations from the past that are left unresolved. These situations follow us into adulthood. I’m sure there are exceptions, but I haven’t encountered a woman yet who has experienced rape as an adult who hadn’t had some sort of earlier violation.
Affirmation: I am Woman, standing fully in my power!
I see “what is true” in all that I encounter!
So you see the importance of going back and bringing closure to those old wounds, and meeting the world and its people with full awareness. Now the sort of awareness that I am speaking of is similar to driving a car. You understand fully the dangers of getting behind the wheel along with the personal responsibility that comes with that choice. You also know that you have no control over the choices of the other drivers. You are keenly aware of the space and activity around you. You are not afraid, just completely aware of your surroundings. When distracted, bad things can happen. We know, yet we get behind the wheel consistently without consciously thinking through all of that. We just do it.
Bringing this sort of awareness into our daily lives requires some attention and action on your part. What you bring to the table changes everything. I like to talk about recapitulation almost as an art form. When your programming is laced with the viruses and cookies from childhood trauma, these threads weave ever so sneakily into every reaction we have. So it is important to step into your observer space. Have a sit or a walk, my favorite time is right before I fall asleep at night, and walk through your day. Call up each situation that made you feel uncomfortable or awkward. Each situation that you left feeling blown up or arrogant. Step into the situations steeped in love and learn. What or how did your interaction with the situation differ?
Maneuver through the scene as if you were gas and have the ability to permeate every molecule of the situation and or the people involved. Knowledge is gained in understanding the true motivations of ourselves and or the others involved whether it be a past situation or current situations. Most often, contrary to the belief of our inner child, it’s not all about you. It may be affecting you, but the actions are powered by a different fuel. A fuel that they carry inside was triggered… just like you. How are they showing up and why? What information was missed while you were tangled up in the emotion? More often than not, our frustration and anger lie in our disappointment in ourselves about the way we reacted. What emotion did the situation stir in us? It may have little, if anything, to do with what was the truth in the situation. We live within the stories that we tell ourselves. In the end, the framework of our current storyline influences everything we encounter. Your story is the filter.
We are all riding the same train; we just have gotten on at different times. With this knowledge, we can begin to take things less personally and make different choices on who we surround ourselves, what sort of situations we expose ourselves to, and where and with whom we choose to admit substances into our bodies. Awareness is safety!
In the following downloadable, I have created an exercise for the expansion of our energies, our power and our reaction time.