Manifesting, or creating your life, works like the GPS in your car. It does little good to talk to your GPS in generalities. It’s necessary to put in a very clear destination and current location for your route to be planned out accurately. From here, it takes action. GPS is oddly quiet as long as the car is in park. As soon as you begin to move, she begins to speak. There are many different ways to get somewhere, right? Some are just more direct than others.
If your “don’t want” and “don’t like” and “can’t do” list is how you are describing where you want you go, you’re not going to get your “wants,” “likes,” and “cans”. Our story most often is built firmly around the “don’t” side of life… but what about the “want” side? I was appalled at myself the first time I was asked to create a list… “Wants,” “likes,” enjoyment on one side…. “don’t likes,” “don’t wants” on the other. (Click here for a free printable to make you own list!) It was very clear I had put thought into the “don’t” side while the “do” side… only had a couple vague things like … I want to be happy… or I want my kids to be happy. If I had no idea what was going to bring that happiness, then the universe was going to sit back until I figured it out. That is our freedom of choice. We can spend our time in the pond making no choices or commitments to our lives, or we can spend some energy exploring what would bring clarity… It’s always our choice.
Think about yourself as a strong strand of electrical cords. As we strip back the plastic casing we see that there are too many to count tiny wires that bind together to create that circuit. The integrity of the cord is compromised with the wear and tear of time. The small tiny strands here and there pull away from the central grouping. In time, we plug in the cord and no light.
Life is about how we show up!
We have trauma at 5, maybe at 10, 14, and then 17, and then again 30 and so on. Emotional strands are severed. Then the next time we encounter a similar situation, voila … we have a 10 year old showing up and trying to deal with our grown up circumstance. How overwhelming and uncomfortable! (So we have these weird childish out bursts. We throw a temper tantrum…. We still just want to be seen and heard.)
If you don’t know which you is going to show up… How will anyone else?
We have to go back and take the hand of that 14 year old. Take the time to listen and hear their story. Let them know how much they are appreciated. They have been fighting for you for a long time. Hand in hand you begin to walk together. You need what they have to offer and they need the knowledge gained from your years.
It takes diligence with your thoughts words and actions to move out of our default. We have to be vigilant about analyzing how and who is showing up. In reality it is pretty cowardly of us as adults to let these kids show up and do our bidding. It is important to begin the process of seeing your adult running and hiding and their stepping up. Honor that child and make sure they know and understand your gratitude and bring them into the fold. One of my favorite tools to work with here is recapitulation. We move out of our space of personal attachment and into that small space inside that is always watching. I like to call it the observer. From this place, we have the ability to watch scenarios play out as if you are watching a movie. When watching a movie, each character has their own story. We have the ability to understand and have compassion for each because we have the privilege of knowing each character’s back-story, how they are walking into a circumstance. From this place, we can see clearly how we show up and what we are bringing to the table and accept our responsibility in the situation.
The human brain takes in 100 billion bits per second… and the average brain is only capable of opening 40 of those bits. It stands to reason that we would fall into a pattern of opening the same types over and over again. The unopened ones pile up and anxiety follows.
This is your default.
We see and interact with so little of what is around us. Who knows what opportunities are lying in the unopened files? The beautiful thing is we have the freedom to choose differently. We have the power to choose how we show up in a situation.
Science says that every scenario, for every situation, moment by moment, is happening all at once. We get to choose where to look. Find what was good today and say thank you. Look at it from the audience and figure out what you did differently to make it great. And then share it! And do it again! Find those perfect cords, work on the severed ones, and focus on the “wants”, “likes”, and “cans”, and everything else will come.
Watch Part 2 of Cherie’s talk on choices! Find more on YouTube!