Okay ladies! What we want is our power back. We want equality with all humans. The males especially! Right?

We gain back our power one choice at a time.

At the beginning of each round of this game of life, we are given a big bucket of choices. This bucket contains a choice or a move for each and every second of our lives. Unfortunately for many of us, someone has been pilfering from our bucket since we could remember. Maybe we can’t remember even when it started. At times, it’s hard to see the line or to know and understand that we do have choices.

Maybe in your mind, you are still hearing your father’s voice telling you what to do… not in a good way. Or maybe we married a man, just like dad, who controls every move we make. Or maybe sexually, we don’t resist because the circumstance is all too familiar. Date rape.

Let’s compare this game of life to an elaborate video game, where as many players as you can see and many that you can’t, are moving in every direction. There are numerous levels each with certain objectives. Throughout the game you are interacting with other players constantly. Each interaction requires a barrage of choices on your part and on theirs. Both of which affects the outcome for the personal interaction, but also the outcome of the whole game.  The law of karma or the law of cause and effect states that nothing happens by chance or outside the universal laws. Every action has a reaction or consequence and we “reap what we have sown.” If we sow apathy, we get apathy.

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You get the picture. Looking away for one second gives someone else the advantage. Just as we know with any other game, most people play to win with their own personal best as top priority. Some want to hurt you on their way past. Some just play with their head down, you’re not even on their radar. While others play for the highest and best for themselves and their fellow players. Even with the best intent, most ultimately put themselves first. I like to think of Katniss Everdeen from the Hunger Games as a modern day heroine. She was playing to friendship-1057660_1920win, all the while, giving help and guidance to those who were in need and receptive. Each choice for each moment was made out of conscious awareness. Her life depended on it.

So if you hand someone the controls, chances are they are going to play your turn to better advance themselves. They may give you a helping hand on their way by or they might throw you right under the bus, putting you in a position that wastes tons of time and energy. That’s what makes the game interesting, right? You have to figure that out. It is with discernment that we wade through the distractions to get down to what is truly important. Establishing allies. Creating relationships with those people that stand in their integrity. Their thoughts, words and actions are always the same. No matter who is around. We must choose wisely.

Establishing allies takes discernment. We must remain alert and focused. Are you beginning to get the picture?

Here, I’d like to take a moment and introduce you to the observer. The observer is that quiet part of yourself that is always watching. The observer watches from a place of neutrality. She sees the scenario as if on a movie screen. From this impartial place, each player carries equal weight. We are given a glimpse of what each person is coming to the table with, a slice of their story. Most importantly we can see how we are showing up… How we respond… Where we acquiesce.

I take back what is rightfully mine.

Taking back our choices comes with responsibility.

Take Back Our Power One Choice at a Time by Cherie Doyen. Find more at cheriedoyen.com!

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We must become responsible for how we are showing up. This has little or nothing to do with what you are wearing or what you are doing. This is about how you are showing up on the inside. Do we show up at a party unconscious and unaware of our surroundings? Let me share a secret ladies: A predator never chooses the most powerful woman in the room. Just as a lioness hunting for food, he will pick the one of us that has already been weakened. Lines have been crossed in the past, and we show up having left the basement door unlocked. He wiggles his way in easily. The path in is clearly worn. In all of my interactions with women, I truly have not encountered a woman who is struggling to recover from rape that doesn’t have an earlier history of similar circumstance. I know for myself it first started with daddy. There was very little push back by the time I entered puberty and other family members decided to enter the game. By the time I was dating, what I wanted or needed didn’t even enter into the picture. I closed my eyes and acquiesced. Date rape is just an extension of earlier situations, we are responding in a conditioned way. I accepted their actions reluctantly but without protest. I could have chosen something different. I could have made choices that would have kept me out of the situation in the first place. Instead, I chose not to choose. This habitual lack of choice puts us in a vulnerable position. Again, if you aren’t making choices someone else will be making them for you.

I compare this necessity for awareness with the amount of attention we invest in driving a car. We must be aware of the other cars. We must be alert to erratic behavior. We must be aware of where we are going, all the while making mental notes around where we have been. Our destination is always in focus. We keep vigilant watch of our surroundings. We are aware of anything or anyone encroaching on our personal space. We do this without the fear of what could happen but with the certainty of what will not. We are confident that we are going to get where we want to go safely.

At the very least,  we should be striving to operate in our life from this level of awareness.    

The trick is to work from the outside in. If you don’t know what you want or need, how can anyone else? So let’s start with the “I don’t knows”. I know for myself this one wound all of the way back to the fundamental choice… food. If ask what I wanted to eat… I don’t know. In a restaurant I handed over ordering… where to eat. If no one else was around, I didn’t even think to feed myself.

Action is required at all times.

Often making no choice is the biggest choice we will ever make. Indifference is the worst. It falls under the Universal Law of Action. “The Law of Action must be applied in order for us to manifest things on earth. Therefore, we must engage in actions that support our thoughts, dreams, emotions and words.”

We take our power back one choice at a time. We can only do that by taking the time to know who you are and what you want. If you don’t know… no one else is going to care. So let’s position ourselves for success by doing a little investigating into YOU.


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Who are you? What do you want? What do you like? Why do you like it? What activities make you lose time? What is important to you in a relationship? What choices do we tend to avoid and why? When and why do we stick our hand into someone else’s bucket and force our choices onto them? What patterns do we see reoccurring in our lives?

From this place of the observer, we sit in our theater and look back on our day without judgement. We analyze how we show up in the different situations we encountered. We take note of how you are received in comparison to your level of power. This inner power I speak of is a soft, quiet place. An unrivaled mix of determination and grace. It comes from way down deep on the inside. It has everything to do with how much control you have over your bucket of choices.

You have all the power or not… your choice!

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