This conversation goes out to all of you that battle that deep inner loneliness… emptiness. I want you to listen up. I am going to leave you today with a really simple exercise that is going to change your life.
I get it disassociation was my middle name. My first time out… or the first time I can remember I was 6-month-old. My life was compounded one thing after another. Barely time to rest in-between. We do what is necessary to cope.
My body was exhibiting my inner world exactly. In plain sight my soul cried for help.
My body became more and more transparent. Physically. My blood pressure was so low I could barely stand without slipping away.
I weighed 98 lbs. Food was my enemy. And in a sick way the world saw my bodies dysfunction as beauty. My will to live matched my blood pressure. And the worlds answer? Dope her up even more.
You know we can become so tangled in the past that we can’t see the good when it does show up. Our suffering swallows us up. The most life altering words were said to me by Deepak Chopra… Pain happens but suffering is a choice. How long ago has it been since you were last hurt… For a moment, I had no words, then the anger rose up and I was indignant. I did not choose what happened to me. No, he says but you have chosen what came after.
It took me years to fully embody the meaning of that.
In my last big episode, I melted to the floor. My husband gets me conscious enough to get to the car and again in the car I slip away. This time there was a consciousness to it. I could perceive without being able to see. And I knew I had a choice to make and I wasn’t really ready. So, I hung in limbo. I was in the hospital for days… my head splitting for the lack of ME. Their answer morphine… morphine. I refused with an inner knowing that I wouldn’t survive drifting any further away from my body. The choice to go and not come back would have been way too easy.
Life is a choice.
I had to decide that this body was not my enemy and worth fighting for. That I was worth fighting for. Taking care of me had to come first.
And from this point on I became driven and led alternately to find freedom for me and you.
The gifts that kept us alive are using us today. Your magic has become a reaction instead of a conscious action. So, over the next weeks we will walk through many of these brilliances and turn their energies around so that you can start driving the car. It’s time to learn to drive that Ferrari and see what she can do.
Now remember this is going to be fun. No ruminating. It’s like a puzzle in reverse. We are deconstructing what was and building what we want to see one choice… one intention at a time. So, the goal is to approach this with the energy of a rollercoaster. When we get on, we experience a fear mixed with excitement. We call it fun… Remember?
So today I am going leave you with a simple exercise.
Close your eyes
Take your awareness to the ceiling
Drop down into your corpus colosseum
Draw back the energy behind your eyes
Drop your eyes down into your heart space
Rest here in this space you are home. Study what that feels like. Follow the energy as if fills up and warms up your body.
Now this is a check in. We can’t accomplish much in the outer or inner world if we aren’t in our bodies. So, over the next week play with this. Anytime you feel overwhelmed. Anytime you feel anxious. Cold or empty lonely. Call yourself back home.
If you are here listening, you are embarking on the most intense study of your life and the subject is you. Winning at this game is about knowing you better than anyone else. Knowing what you want. What you like. Who you want to be.
My goal is to leave you each week with a tool or a new thought that can help you create change. Understand your geniuses and take a bow to the magic and strength that got you to where you are today. Some of the upcoming topics are listed here. I would love to hear from you. And Hey I have a map and a flashlight and I am coming in after you… If you choose. J
Let’s book some time and get to know one another… http://cheriedoyen.com/schedule-your-appointment/
Cherie’s own life is a testimony to her motivation, determination, and healing power. I knew her while she still carried her childhood sorrows, and when she started seeking healing through meditation, intuition, and other spiritual practices, the transformation in her was profound. You could feel the light and joy around her, as she grew into her sacred purpose. My own life is divided like a book into two parts, and Cherie is the stitching seam that divides those parts: Part I: BEFORE I met Cherie. Part II: AFTER I met Cherie. To know Cherie is to be transformed by her. She taught me to meditate; to take responsibility for my own happiness and that of my children; to face the truth, even if it is ugly; to live in truth and authenticity, instead of pleasing or “face-flipping in order to survive; to risk rejection if that is the consequence for being real; and best of all: how to BE A MOM who honors, respects, listens to, and guides her children into their destiny. My family was torn apart by alcoholism and many other wounds. We were a mess. Cherie transformed me and my relationship with my children, who now know their worth, are also taking responsibility for their lives, and who…laugh and play again. I love her and consider her my spiritual mom, and I will forever be grateful for the difference she has made in my life.