Here’s a really big one, especially for the ladies out there. Nice is different than kind!
Why do we say yes when we really want to say no?
Not that this isn’t a common thing for all humans, but I think it’s very ingrained in woman to be accommodating, especially to man.
I hear it over and over again, women saying, yeah, I, I had sex with him last night. I really didn’t want to. Why did you? Oh, well I knew he wanted it so bad and I didn’t want to disappoint him. I felt bad.
OR… I went out with this guy the other day. I didn’t want to say yes but I didn’t want his feelings to be hurt. Or I stayed married to this man because he said he was gonna hurt himself. If I left.
We can’t do this guys.
Do you understand that saying yes when you really want to say no, it’s truly a lie and lies are never good for anyone, right? Because you are painting a picture for this individual that is not based in truth and what you’re giving you is a lack of importance. You are putting your wants and needs behind the needs of another.
YOU are IMPORTANT!
Nice is different than kind!
There’s a huge difference between being nice and being kind right. Being nice is doing something that we think we should do. Nine times out of 10 our thought words and actions are not in alignment.
We have regret around it.
We feel sacrifice around it.
Martyrdom is ours
Nice acts. They haunt us because they’re a lie. It’s like feeding somebody only the icing off of a cake and never getting into the cake.
We have to know that.
Kindness, on the other hand, most often it passes by.
We don’t even understand that we did anything extraordinary.
We just gave.
Regret is not ours.
We don’t feel sacrifice.
We don’t feel any sort of remorse or lack or martyrdom.
Nice is different than Kind!
As we move forward into wholeness and integrity, our goal is what we think, what we say and what we do come into alignment.
I know it feels uncomfortable, especially in the beginning, but coming into integrity and choosing what you want , is an exercise.
We all know you’re not making this choice to harm anyone.
This is about you and what you deserve. If you don’t respect your wants and needs how would can you expect anyone else to approach you with that honor.
I like to think of this kind of like, I feel about mom energy. We can give people what they want, or we can give people what they need. And most often what they need and what they want are two different things.
If somebody wants you and you’re not in alignment with that, how is that good for anyone? It’s not good for them. It’s not good for you. So step into that, it’s never a good choice.
It’s never a right minded choice to say yes, when we want to say no.
It is your time to choose… Who you are, why you’re here, what is acceptable for YOU! ,
What do YOU want? What do YOU need.
You deserve that. And no, one’s going to give that to you until, you know.
Hop in and take a twirl around my new program Today I Choose! You will be blown away by the power packed into this daily 7 minute time investment. That’s right! Get up laugh, dance and twirl around for 7 minutes each morning as you work your way through these power packed 25 audio. Actively take back your right to choose what you want for your tomorrow.
Now what we need to digest here is that in that denial, they hold support for the abuser. So often the abuser is still held within that family. I’ve watched families where, it is very clear… That’s my brother, I’m going to stand beside him or that’s my dad. Uncle Clarence? He didn’t do anything to me… But the best is… Well, what did you do to cause it, right? What clothes were you wearing? How could we possibly let this it will ruin a him?
Judgement around this choices scope then widens out into the societal judgment around the importance of family.
If you had a family member that was murdering people, would they say that? Or if you know, your family was harboring a rapist that was raping and hurting women outside of the clan.
What would that feel like?
I remember saying one time, Hey, how about this? How about this Thanksgiving? I stopped by the prison and I pick up a rapist and I bring him to our, our family dinner. Their response was one of disgust of course. The difference still escapes me today.
A predator at the table is a predator at the table.
What we need to understand is that when a child encounters, something like this, and they’ve got people fighting for them, it’s a blip on their timeline. A blip with a beginning and an end. The ones they “trust” are fighting to protect them… They move on without a hiccup.
The consequences of telling a child to keep a secret…. or when they are accused of wrong doing… or their perception is doubted… All of this creates a fester that lasts a lifetime!
So collectively we have to start standing our power. Call in clarity and bravery and put allegiance beside the right person.
The right-minded thing is we don’t have sex with children. We don’t beat our children.
We’re here doing the best we possibly can as their guardians, until they can care for themselves and enter the world ready to do what they came here to do.
PTSD is contagious. Wholeness is contagious. Look around. We have to fix this.
I’m going to put a link to The Today I Choose audio series walks you through a progression of choice-making.
Get up and move. Move your body… Dance. Get physical. These audios are happy.
Doing the thinking required to bring clarity in around what you want or what Self-respect would look like is a must.
When we start taking back and recognizing that we’re taking back our choices, we’re taking back our power.
Healing PTSD and Trauma comes in phases. There’s the mechanics of the PTSD. And then there’s how do I learn to live differently? You don’t wave a magic wand at a leper and expect him to suddenly be able to navigate the outside world without some guidance.
PTSD is the culmination of the cycles running through time. There are very specific quantum actions that have created these cycles. The cysts or the time loops on your timeline keep catapulting you back and forth through time, which creates an environment where it’s impossible to be emotionally sound.
We can’t be in integrity when we’re bouncing through time like that. Each strand of time is slightly different. The choices would be different choices.
First we go back and we truly clean up your timeline, in this lifetime or any other lifetime where you’ve got anchors that are keeping you stuck.
That’s the PTSD.
Secondly, we have to learn to live differently. We have been entrenched in an environment that more than likely has not been serving us, or we have not been serving. For example you are married to an abusive husband or your parents deny your experience and support your perpetrator.
Do you have PTSD? NO! Do you need to make some big choices? YES!
We must take action around what our world looks like right now and what we would like to see differently.
Today you get to Choose!
Can it all happen at once?
Yeah. With patients and a deep understanding… You can only change you. All of the other players in your game are making choices too.
Here is where the need to depersonalize comes in.
You can learn how to live differently but you cannot expect everyone around you to suddenly be different.
It requires vigilance over our minds to stay right-minded. Kind of like an alcoholic hanging out in his favorite bar. Success is virtually impossible.
Emmitt Fox… You can’t change your mind without changing your environment.
Healing PTSD and Trauma, all 5 levels of being must be considered:
Trauma hits us on all five levels. That’s not how we’ve been thinking about ourSelves. We can’t have a hit to one strand and it not affect all of the rest.
As we enter the world clean and clear we find that certain parts of ourselves have been stunted and we have to just digest that.
So, the sooner we can remove the blame and get focused on ourselves the faster we can get out of the maze of distortion.
Life can change and it can happen very rapidly, but that requires a level of depersonalization and determination. This comes with a deep understanding that the only thing you can change is you. We all want a new mom and the family that’s in storybooks.
Stand still and look around. What is yours to affect?
Wholeness comes as we find integrity and a truth that holds sound through all five levels of existance?
After cleaning up your timeline we come to a realization that life around me is still the same. The same people… same job… There is no magic wand that is going to instantly change all of that.
It’s an impossible for your environment to change without your mind changing.
Wherever you go, there you are, right.
You can by a new house, or move across the country and if you aren’t in integrity… that means knowing who you are… what you want… knowing with clarity what is acceptable for you… You are going to be right back with the same players in new costumes. The same job in a wrapped in sparkly paper.
It takes integrity to fit through the eye of that needle and you have to know yourself inside and out to be in the world and not of it.
We need more of you playing full out… walking right down the middle… stradling the line of truth.
I’d love for you to hop on for a free 30 minute freedom call.
This world is going to change with each of us taking stock of who we are and how we are impacting the world around us.
I would love to take your hand and guide you out of the distorted maze and into a life that is worth getting up for!
To create with a thought and out of body experience. Brilliant
Out in the world an out of body experience that usually requires a near death or a horrible car accident, or, operation. Something horrible enough to make them want to withdraw to that degree.
As a child we were bumping up against things that we had nowhere to go, in our psyche, in our brain, in our programming, in our physical-ness to analyze and understand. So, we got out and with time it became normal to be out. We have no memory of it being different.
We have to understand that if you’re not in here, you’re not really feeling much. I mean, if you are, it’s kind of second hand, so it’s watered down. Hence the need to cut or cause pain, or starve ourselves, just in the hopes that we might feel something.
When we’re dissociated, when we’re out of our body, our life force, our astral body is watching our body try to live or exist. We feel empty, separate and alone. We feel like we can’t breath… Like we’re underwater. These are all signs that you are out of your body. We feel separate because we truly are!
I had this psychiatrist. One of the few that I felt like I jived with, looked at me and he said, Cherie, I don’t know how to help you any further. What I can say is you’re not in there. And I’m like, what do you mean? I’m not in there? He said, you’re not in there and I don’t know how to help you get in there. And I’m like, well, if I’m not in here, where am I? He said, I don’t know.
That started my journey to find the answers to the questions …
Where am I? How do I learn to stay in my body?
So I got very interested in astral travel and what that was when I was studying with Mr. Chopra. He was like trying to teach me and it seemed from my analytic mind, something really hard to do right. Until the day I did it very naturally out of the blue. And I was conscious enough to know that was the action that happened when I was triggered or having a flashback.
I wasn’t coming back. I came back to the room, but not here. In my body. So I’m sitting in this astral travel class and the woman brings us home and shows us how to realign our astral and physical bodies.
I was like, are you kidding me right now? I actually feel full. Normally I felt hollow. With that fullness came warmth. I was looking out of my eyes. Everything looked very crisp and very bright. And there was a balance in me that I didn’t even know was a thing.
To get a handle on this is an exercise folks. It’s not a onetime gig because you’re in and out. It’s an unconscious reaction your are bringing to the light. It becomes a level of consciousness, acknowledging when you’re coming in and out and being aware enough to bring yourself back in.
You see with astral travel it’s advised for you to do that with a partner because it’s easy to get lost out in the ethers.
I’m excited to share with you how to learn to stay in your body.
I’d like for you to get in a comfortable spot, it’s only going to take, you know, a couple of minutes. Close your eyes and bring your awareness to your perspective of the room.
Can you see yourSelf sitting in the room?
Do you see yourSelf from the back or from the front…
Can you see the top of your head? Just make these a little mental note.
Bring your awareness to the ceiling above the top of your head.
Next drop down through the crown of your head and rest in your Corpus callosum, Corpus callosum is the control room of your brain. Just like that little bubble in a level, I want you to find balance there.
Draw that energy that resides behind your eyes back into the Corpus callosum as well.
Watch that circuit connect between your left brain, right brain, third eye and the Corpus callosum.
Now we’re going to drop down into your chest. We’re going to fill up your chest an we are going to see all of those brain cells in your heart, light up. We’re going to fill up your arms and your fingers. Now we’re going to drop down and we’re going to fill up your belly. And we’re going to watch all those brain cells in your gut.
Fill up your thighs, your calves, all the way to the bottoms of your feet.
Bring your awareness to the big toe of your right foot. And I’d like for you to try to find your pulse there. If not, again, this is an exercise. Bring your energy on down into those toes. If you’re experiencing tingling that counts, especially for the first time… Smile. Next we’re going to bring our awareness over to the big toe of your left foot. And we’re going to locate your pulse there.
This is a game of Choices and Today you get to choose!
I was at an event with Deepak Chopra and he was talking about us choosing our environment. And I got very riled, coming from a childhood where I felt I had no choice into adulthood where I felt like life was just imploding and happening to me, I was in complete resistance to this idea. And in expressing that he very kindly said to me, when was the last time that these people hurt you?
I said, I was16 or 17, and he just smiled, again, very kindly. He said, And how old are you now? And I thought my head was going to explode. Right? And what I realized though, as this journey has taken me around the world and back is that, back to that wonderment of childhood.
All through my childhood, I felt like I was playing a game and I would say that to people and they would get incensed by it. The thought was taken so personally. I went to Catholic school all the way through my eighth grade year. I spent a lot of time in the hall, in my state of questioning, I had the nuns turned upside down with the idea that maybe, just maybe, we were playing a game.
Now I read recently that there are like three NASA scientists that say that we have been playing a simulation much like a video game. It kind of reminds me of the movie much like the movie “The Matrix”.
The kicker is we forgot and we became very personally entrenched in the character in the game.
We can move into the action of playing the game versus the game playing us by using Buddha’s wisdom of detaching from or depersonalizing the emotion around an experience.
The religious traditions call it the game of life. Each has their version free will or opportunity for choice. The way our life progresses is completely relative to the choices we are making.
Now, science also says that every moment, which is 90 seconds, every minute and a half, we are given six alternate choices or tendril timelines.
Much like routes that are displayed in your GPS, you can take the scenic route or you can take the straightest route through, right?
These tendril timelines, each represent a choice and the results and consequences. The continuation or trajectory that that choice would have on our future is playing out right now.
When we grow up in a home where domination and trauma are the norm, we don’t get the opportunity to learn to make choices. Instead we get to feel like life is happening to us and we don’t have any way to maneuver it. It’s like the reactionary space of a pinball game right.
Could it be possible that as our state of awareness and our state of integration grows and we move into integrity and wholeness, we start recognizing when we are making or not making our choices… or could we have allowed them to pass us by in our wait for the Knight in shining armor to come in and fix things for us and take care of us.
We have turned our choices over to almost anybody that’ll pay attention to us.
To be a master in this game, we have to take back these choices. Today I Choose what I want!
This is your game.
It is imperative that we spend time and energy around what’s acceptable for us… What we want and what we need!
And in that we find clarity.
Now, every game has a goal and has challenges for us to get through. The point is to get from here to there, the straightest line through, the fastest route. Right?
That is what the game’s about. Right? In any game we choose to play.
I remember very clearly different points in my journey where I was handed opportunity and I chose to walk past. Could my journey have taken a completely different trajectory? Absolutely. Was it wrong to walk the direction I walked? Absolutely not.
Every step we take is an opportunity for us to gain information, in that moment.
Science also says that in our awareness, we’re taking in, 400 billion bits of information per second.
When we take this idea of good and evil and depersonalize it we are in the land of duality such as the Democrats or Republicans. We live our life where we choose to put our attention in this 400 billion bits of information. Just like where’s Waldo. If we didn’t have those little icons at the bottom to focus our attention we would just be in a state of overwhelm. Where we put our attention becomes our world.
Here’s the thing the average human is operating on a measly 100 of the 400 billion bits of information.
We have to be very conscious of where we’re putting our attention because that’s our world. And that is our choice. We can spend all of our energy focusing on a problem, or we can recognize the problem, not take it personally, look at it in a state of solution and find the straightest line through it to the other side.
OR we can take life so personally that we feel like we’re in a state of difficulty all the time, back to life happening to us. What we need to understand, in this space of depersonalization, games are played with us solving problems. That’s what a game is, right? That’s what makes it fun. It’s like a puzzle when we don’t get emotionally involved in it. We are operating out of curiosity versus distress.
What can I do to move this needle forward?
I really like to use the idea of the GPS. We put in our current location, our destination and we choose which way we want to go. There is no wrong way. No right way. There are scenic routes and the fastest route. You get to choose your experience.
As we are moving into a place of choice we are stepping into the control room.
Today I choose personal responsibility.
We are conscious of the impact of our choices and the trajectory they’re taking our lives and the consequences or the reactions that our choices are having on the environment around us.
Our world is not going to change until we understand how we’re impacting it.
Where are we handing our choices over to others? How are we in resistance to what is in the highest and best for humanity and every living being on this planet, including the planet itself.
Humans today are operating like the dinosaurs of our time. We are walking forward devouring and destroying everything in our path.
You and I can change that. One choice at a time.
Now I have an audio series that I love that people really enjoy called. Today I choose…. Seven minute, mind altering, a quantum movement into choice-making.
We have to be very conscious of when we’re not making our choices, because no choice is often the biggest choice wherever we’re going to make. Whoever is stepping into that space is going to have some personal gain involved in their choice making for you. We have to know that.
The Today I Choose audio series is three levels meant to take you through a progression on consciousness around taking back your choices. It takes seven minutes a day, and we work with one of these audios until there is no resistance in your body then we move onto the next one. Let your body guiding through this course. Your body knows everything you need to know about you. It is your system. It’s your operating system at your hard drive. And it knows. So rock it out and let me know how, how you feel, how you feel different and I’ll see you tomorrow.
Now we’re up, we’re physical. We’re moving, we are dancing. There’s action involved in shifting your field and working these thoughts loose. This is supposed to be fun!
When we get to the finish line , there’s no blame, there’s no fear because we’re in absolute responsibility for who we are, where we stand. What people are going to walk away saying about us, whatever. It doesn’t matter because you’re going to be you no matter who’s in the room.
Now I know you, just like I did, want to put all of this trauma and suffering away for good… Right.
You know, our world’s going to change when we come into integrity and into wholeness individually, right? That’s the only way it’s going to spread out.
So first I want to address the question of trauma and the level of it’s affects? Is mine bad enough?
We have a tendency to minimize our experiences and compare them to somebody that had dire experiences. I know for myself, I grew up with a Grandmother who had a house full of foster children at all times, I would talk away what was happening to me. As I grew older I would talk myself into believing that nothing that happened was bad enough to have caused me to go completely sideways and in so many ways.
What’s true is your personal level of sensitivity has a lot to do with the impact. Just like how one germ affects people in different ways depending on the strength of their immune systems.
When we start making choices out of fear versus curiosity, life is going to take a completely different trajectory, right? So I’d like for us to just truly be able to step in and say, yeah, that happened. It isn’t about blame and isn’t about what somebody should have done. It’s about how you embodied that experience and what words were embedded in your programming and that you use every day to describe your experiences, to describe yourself, to describe the people around you. That’s what’s important now.
How does trauma affect our timeline?
That’s something we don’t really think about. We think about how it affects us, but how does it affect time?
So we’ve got this young child, say maybe five or six. Let’s be true he hasn’t had his little body for that long. And suddenly he’s faced with a sexual experience, which is way more advanced than his brain has the capabilities of dealing with such a young age. This child has no words. He has no framework to analyze his situation.
So what’s he going to do?
He’s going to get out!
It’s much like if I were going to reach out my hand and touch a hot burner, what am I going to do? Pull back. It’s not just happening to his fingers. It’s happening to his body. I’ve got to get out of here. I’m in danger. So he backs out. That’s dissociation. Or an out of body experience.
We tend to relegate the out of body experiences to the grownups, but the kids do it very easily. There are no thoughts around not being able to.
They’re just, it’s a reaction. This is awful. The core of my being is being attacked. I’m going to get away from the pain.
When we look at how trauma might affect our timeline we have to think about what’s he going to do next?
So this little super hero kid is looking down on this infectious moment and goes, Oh my gosh, what am I going to do with that? How am I possibly going to get up tomorrow sit at the breakfast table with these human beings that I thought right were keeping me safe and protected. He is going to encapsulate it. He’s going to tie that stretch of time off in a loop, in a time loop, or a cyst, on his timeline right.
With this moment of time encapsulated and not in the flow with rest of his timeline it is removed from his memories until he’s triggered into remembering. And then? It seems to be all he can see. That doesn’t mean that that information is not buried in the psyche somewhere hauntingly. This is what the world calls traumatic amnesia. How many of us remember trauma in our 40’s and 50’s?
We also have to understand that this astral body, this energetic version of the physical body that rose out of his little body has molecules. And… if you’re encapsulating this moment, you’re also encapsulating, a version of you in there too. Right.
When we talk fragmentation in a very literal, practical way, the astral body has fragmented and left enough life force in his body he left behind for it to continue on. Taking the bulk of the astral body on to his next destination.
We know that we’re offered six alternate timelines, every moment, which is 90 seconds approximately. That being said in that next moment, the child hops over a few frames. He hops into reality of new choices. Not so different he can’t assimilate but lets take door number 3…
I call that reality hopping.
Now the deal is what’s going on over here in this new timeline is similar but different. Soon the child starts feeling like they don’t fit in. That nothing’s quite what it seems, things, aren’t how he remembered him. Right. And it almost feels like, Oh, I didn’t get the script for this moment. These people aren’t hearing me or understanding me. He begins the journey into alien and separateness, out of place.
What if truly, he is?
So these are the quantum actions that are responsible for what we call today, PTSD. This amazing skill skill responsible for trapping these moments in time brilliant. The only hiccup is that those versions of ourselves keep drawing us back… Wanting us to remember.
They have been trapped reliving your worst experiences like groundhog day.
The quantum actions that this child was able to take, the magic at his disposal… He is a little superhero. Grown ups spend years trying to learn this stuff.
The super cool thing is that these quantum actions can be duplicated… You already know how to do it. You just need to remember how.
These same quantum actions can be initiated on purpose and these loops can be dismantled. Which means PTSD can and does have a remedy.
You are not mentally ill. You’re not crazy. You are a superhero. It does have a remedy and life can start forward and upward instead of sideways!
I know being out there is tempting but the game’s played here. We chose to be human and we have to learn to play the game here.
Hop on a 30 minute Clarity call with me, truly, I would love to talk to you and it’s free. And let’s see what we can do for you because truly, I believe in my core that the world is going to change with each and every one of us, it’s not going to change by the government. It’s not going to change by people praying. It is going to change by us taking the action necessary to change ourSelves.