I know for so many of my clients the idea of being well is nothing more than that… an idea.
An idea that can be true for other people… possibly… but not for us… We have PTSD… Bad things have happened to us.
- Those people don’t have to live with what I have been through?
- I can’t just forget it
- Those people don’t know what it’s like to live each day trying to function.
- Am I Crazy?
Being well is a foreign thought for us… Our world is shifting and changing before us as if we were walking into a new play and hadn’t yet received the revised script. We feel awkward or out of place.
Instead we have become satisfied with okay. What is okay but settling with a level of disfunction?
But what if Wholeness was a real, literal, tangible state of being?
When I was studying with Deepak Chopra, the more I knew the more frustrated I became.
I understood the concept of emotional freedom… I understood the effects on the body and the correlation between the two. I meditated daily. I read books… I worked with affirmations… I studied all sorts of different modalities of energy medicines…
I could teach the ideals and concepts, yet I was still getting triggered.
Emotional spills were still happening and with each one I felt more shame… I knew better.
Yet, nothing I knew today was affecting those moments when I would get sucked back into the reactions impressed from another time.
It was as if 40 years ago was today in the blink of an eye.
Deepak ask me one time… How old were you the last time you were actually hurt? I was 17.
30 years later those moments were as intense as they were at the time of injury.
True wholeness requires action. Action got us tangled up here and only action can get us out.
In a nutshell.
If we look through the lens of body – mind energetic lens, we can gain an understanding of the astral body. The astral body being the energetic body that encases our soul. Our astral body has the same qualities and characteristics as our most current physical body.
Survivors of trauma come forward in the multitudes with claims of being able to witness their entire experience from above. As if they were watching it like a movie.
I’m not in my body! Is one of the biggest common denominators among my clients!
My final psychiatrist said to me… Cherie you’re not in there? He waves his hand at my body. I was like If I’m not in here then, where am I? He said I don’t know, and I don’t know how to help you any further.
On that day he sent me out into the world more lost than ever before.
If he doesn’t know where I am… Then who does?
I began to dig into what that means. You’re not in there. In the psych world this is literal dissociation.
Dissociation… the disconnection or separation of something from something else or the state of being disconnected.
So, what is the definition of dissociation for those of us that have had trauma after trauma through our lives, culminating in what the world labels PTSD?
I do want to insert.
There are single event traumas and compounded traumas. Both can end in the action… the creation of the loop or cyst on your timeline.
These cysts of encapsulated yuck from that horrible experience call us back… to remember… the flashbacks or being triggered and the emotional spills… We get sucked back.
What gets sucked back? Is it an action or just an idea?
With single event trauma the system has a normal or an optimal running state to right itself to… recreate. It longs to find normal again.
But when trauma is systemic the person doesn’t have an optimal state to recreate. There is at best peaks and crevices.
Their system endures hit after hit after hit until the fractures take on lives of their own.
We experience flash backs… night terrors…we are triggered and exhibit emotion outside of what is pertinent to the moment.
Let’s think about a car that hits a tree. It may survive one or two hits and quite possibly be nursed back to a similar state as before.
Let’s take that same car and let’s run it into that same tree… fifty times… Is it possible to bring it back to its original state? Yes, but it will take way more effort and a few new parts and the time and focus to put the pieces back together. And in the end… a different car than when you started. Right?
If I were in that car, I would figure out a way to get out… one way or another!
Science claims our out-of-body experiences as not real, like hallucinations… or… do we actually have the capabilities to project our astral body to another time or another place?
But the masses have a different opinion.
The commonality among experiences say something different.
- We are watching ourSelves have the experience.
- We can see the whole room.
- We can see ourSelves in the room.
- We can hear the conversations playing out around us.
- We remember the beginning and maybe the end of experiences.
- Our memories are view like watching a movie versus from ones eyes.
Most often our view is from above looking down. Some have experiences of going to another place or they experience life slightly differently with gaps of memory or loss of time upon returning.
Dissociation has to happen… the disengagement of the astral body from the physical body to be able to astral project or quantum jump.
When a child experiences something that is too complex for the programing, they have in place at the moment… Say sexual violation… When the child has no words to put with the touch, or no words to put with the physical sensations, or no words to put with what they are thinking…
They get out.
Just as we would pull back from a hot burner the child pulls out… all of the way out!
I laugh… a few years ago I was taking an astral travel class. I heard about the idea of being able to project our astral bodies through time or across space. I wanted to try it. I thought the concept could be super helpful for finding out where I might be.
I’m sitting there feeling as if it was a hoax. I was feeling nothing. I was experiencing the room as was normal for me. From above… as a whole. I was so focused on trying to do and experience what she was expecting of us that I was blown away when she brought us home.
She realigned our astral bodies with our physical bodies.
I’m not sure I can say I ever remember consciously feeling like that… being able to see through my eyes. On one hand it felt limiting to be unable to see the whole room all at once. Yet the feelings in my body and the crispness of the colors were shocking.
My first time out I was 6 months old. My alcoholic PTSD riddled father was triggered and drinking. He was left alone with me and I being highly sensitive… and empathic was mirroring back all of his angst. He was highly sensitive as well, so my crying was triggering him.
I wouldn’t stop.
I was haunted by the fear of death… by the need to remember… by some part of me that so desperately wanted me to see… her. To know that she came back for a reason.
My father almost killed me that night. I remember getting further and further away from my body… I remember being sucked back down as my mother picked me up.
I remember her escaping the apartment. I remember her being lulled back in. As his brain was bathed in the dopamine that follows the eruptions. His words turned soft and loving… loving turns to pleading.
I watched it.
I was speaking to a beautiful young woman the other day. She is in 6th grade. She was in my office because her father was concerned that she has ADHD.
As we dove in, she talked about her mom’s recent tug of war with a man she made her husband. He is a good man, but he is loud, and he is opinionated, and he has a whole lot of words.
This highly sensitive young woman is not eating. Her stomach hurts when she comes to the table to eat.
I ask what this looked like at school? Was she able to eat at school… Yes.
She talked about making music with her hands on the desk. Or tapping a pencil.
She talked about staring off into space or staring deeply into something. She said she lost all connection with what was going on around her. It took someone touching her to bring her back… which was startling.
I ask what she was doing while she was staring? She looked up from under her downward glance and said I am flying.
I started laughing. I said that’s awesome I fly too. I shared my school experiences of staring and disappearing from the dreariness of my life and the little classroom.
We talked about how what she was doing was super cool. We discussed her ability to choose and the safety of being at home or in a safe space when she to leave her body to fly.
She is highly sensitive and extremely intelligent.
We talked through some techniques such as the three-finger technique for focus. (create a title for whatever you are learning… Quantum physics: 101 J) put your fore finger, middle finger and thumb together for the lecture. This can become a trigger for focus.
We talked through responding to the first thought that comes in when taking the test.
She is a creator of music. She has already recorded an album with her mom and sister. She writes a lot of her own music.
And we created a strategy for making music in her shoes with her toes.
The music in her shoes keeps her present in her body. The three fingers have her focused. She has induced the alpha brain wave state which is optimal for focus and learning.
She becomes empowered versus ill.
The ability to dissociate is the first step for being able to jump or travel.
Here’s the catch… To jump or travel the rule book recommends a keeper. Someone to be an anchor throughout your experience…
But most of all they are there to make sure you get home and realigned with your physical body.
Could it be we just forgot how?