How many of you feel isolated and alone? Empty… Separate?

I left my final visit with my psychiatrist feeling more lost and hopeless than ever… 

So I walk into his office that final day. I find my seat and after getting comfortable he said to me…

Cherie why are you here?

Confused… I feel Isolated and alone Empty and Separate. I say.

He says I am going to tell you what I see… You are very. Observant. Your reactions to life are appropriate. You laugh when your supposed to laugh. You show compassion. But you’re not in there… He said with a wave of his hand.

What do you mean I’m not in here? Not giving him time to respond…I say… If I’m not in here where am I?

He said I Don’t know, and I don’t know how to help you any further.

I left not knowing what to do next. But my curiosity was growing around not being in here. In my body.

The first place I went was traditional medical research around dissociation… There is very little. It’s defined as a separation… compartmentalization. But nothing about where you go really… or what happens. Do you disappear? Do you watch from above? Or do you get the heck out? And if you get the heck out where do you go? What is possible?

I dug into these questions every way to Sunday.

We know that when a person awakes from a coma, they often claim to have detailed memory of what went on in their room. Who came to visit… What was talked about. 

They claim to have watched it from above.

Or a person who had surgery having details of what went on in the operating room during their procedure.

These are often the reactions to adult traumatic experiences.

The world calls those out of body experiences. How do you think they got out? 

They dissociated.

But what if you are a very young child?

What about if the horror is daily or weekly? 

What if you chose not to hang out and watch it from above any more?

So many questions were rolling around in my mind. 

Then one day hearing my children come home I awaken from a nap… I rise and speak and then I realize they can’t hear me. I look back and see my body still laying on the couch. At that moment I was sucked back in. And my body woke up.

I had similar experiences through the years where it was clear how separate I really was. How not in there I could really be.

In later years I realized people studied how to do that. How to be separate. How to look and see what was happening in the next room… Right?

I’ve always been drawn to the concept of layers of dimensional existence virtually taking up the same space. 

I found it another layer to explore so I took an astral travel class. The experience I had was a game changer… And the complete opposite from what the amazing woman teaching the class intended. 

When she guided us home… Back into our bodies… Realigning our astral or energetic body with our physical body. I was looking out of my eyes. Seeing what other people see. Feeling my hands and feet. I felt warmth growing in my limbs.

And at that moment I realized I was literally not in here… in my body. Most of the time. 

Most of the time I could see my whole body at the same time. Most of the time I could see the whole room at the same time. What was not normal for me was to be able to look down and see my feet and legs. 

No one around me seemed to be feeling anything extraordinary in this literal unification of my life force with my physical body.

The astral body is an energetic version of your physical body. The astral body houses the should but is not the soul. Just as the rib cage houses your heart and lungs but is not them. Right.

Another piece that stuck with me was we were urged to astral travel with a partner to make sure we get back in our bodies safely.

What I call the Coming Home Exercise is a guide for you to gain control of being present in your bodies I am attaching here for you to play with. Get to know your feet and toes!

I mean this game did not come with a guidebook. Right.