#DearCherie, I often find mySelf in toxic relationships. How can I break this pattern and attract healthier partners?
In our search for meaningful and healthy relationships, we often find ourSelves caught in toxic patterns that leave us feeling drained and defeated. Breaking free from this cycle requires a conscious effort to become healthier ourSelves.
Becoming Healthier Within
To attract a healthier partner, we must first become healthier ourSelves. This means consciously choosing to live differently and break free from any patterns that keep us stuck in toxic relationships. This includes addressing any traumatic experiences from our past, which can be done in a rapid way. Doing so can rapidly transform our lives – giving us new word choices and the opportunity to create new patterns.
Breaking Free from Loops
Continuously looping back to old behaviors and patterns due to our CPTSD/PTSD only prolongs the cycle of unhealthy relationships. If we fail to break free from these loops, we may find ourSelves dancing with the wrong people again and again – such as victims with abusers. Therefore, it is crucial to be honest and clear with ourSelves about what needs to be different. By closing those doors within ourSelves and coming into integrity, we pave the way for healthier connections.
Taking Ownership of OurSelves
While we may be tempted to control others, we just can’t. All we can control is taking care of ourSelves and the learning we have to do to take ownership of our thoughts, words, and actions. Being in alignment allows us to attract different people into our lives. It’s important to give others the space to show up differently while focusing on our own learning and growth. This shift in mindset empowers us to create healthier relationships based on mutual respect and understanding.
Patience and Persistence
The journey towards attracting healthier partners is not always easy or instantaneous.
Years ago, I had a healer tell me,
“You’re grabbing. You don’t stay in that next octave or in that higher frequency long enough because you get lonely. So you drop down to play with what you know.”
We have to be patient enough. To link arms with other people, put ourSelves in situations where we’re going to meet other people, right?
Be patient, staying in the higher frequency that we desire and avoiding the temptation to settle for what we know. Loneliness may push us back into toxic dynamics, but linking arms with others and putting ourSelves in new situations is what can change the game. Engaging in activities outside our comfort zone opens doors for new connections and paves the way for the relationships we envision.
If this sounds like you, I’d love to work with you personally to heal your CPSTD/PTSD that results from trauma.
Here’s to healthier relationships and a healthier you!
Cherie