#DearCherie, I’ve experienced sexual trauma, and I’m struggling with intimacy issues in my relationship. How can I overcome this and create a deeper emotional connection with my partner?
As a survivor, I understand what you’re going through. We have to remember that sexual trauma is the only crime where our body has been invaded. You would probably want to move if your house were invaded, right? When a person’s body is invaded, wherever you go – there it is. We want to be able to create a home, and right now, your body probably feels like an empty house.
If you’re struggling with intimacy issues in your relationship due to past sexual trauma, it’s essential to acknowledge and address these feelings in order to create a deeper emotional connection with your partner. We need to be sensitive and understanding of our situation. Spend the energy identifying it and find someone to help you navigate that. It will continue to affect everything you do moving forward.
Taking ownership of the actions and communicating openly with your partner about your experiences and triggers is crucial.
“Hey, I know that I am dealing with a problem, and it’s something I am actively working through, and today, I want us both to be clear that I want to be the one in charge of initiating touch.”
Let them know what you’re going through and what you need to feel safe and comfortable in intimate situations. If they’re putting on the music, the candles are going, and that’s you owning the energy around how that will play out. Often, sexual trauma survivors can feel snuck up on, and their partner has to know that if they wake you up in the middle of the night for sex, you’re going to freak out.
You know that’s a trigger for you. And those triggers can be resolved to where that’s not something that happens every time, but your partner would need to know that. If you are in an intimate relationship conversation, that dance must be a very truthful, transparent space.
This is what I’m experiencing right now. And he needs to know that when you say, I’m done, he knows you’re done. Often I hear, you know, people right in the middle, there’s a shift, like an energy that happened at that moment that changed everything, and you just want up. Fair enough. He needs to know that, and you and your Quantum Therapeutix practitioner need to sit together and figure out what made that moment shift. Because in that, we can find the nucleus of what is creating all of that, and your triggers can be resolved.
Remember, you are not alone in this journey. Resources and support are available to help you overcome past traumas and build healthy, fulfilling relationships. Stay strong and keep moving forward towards healing and growth. You deserve love, understanding, and a deep emotional connection with your partner!
Highest and Best,
Cherie