#DearCherie – I’ve been dating someone and the relationship is getting serious. He doesn’t know about my past trauma. How can I create a safe space for sharing without it feeling like im back in the moment?
I hear you, and I understand the complexity of navigating a new relationship while carrying past trauma. It’s courageous of you to want to create a safe space for sharing, but remember, your journey is personal, and you hold the power around it.
Firstly, ask yourSelf why you want to bring that into this relationship. Is it to trauma bond with someone else? To have them understand you better? What do you hope the outcome will be after telling this person your story? Be honest with yourself here.
Before delving into your past trauma with others, I would encourage you first to prioritize your healing and well-being with a practitioner. You can set down the bag of rocks that is your trauma so you can navigate a new relationship with freedom and choice. Sometimes, we can even choose the wrong person to dance through life with because we are still carrying our trauma.
[You can click here to set up a free intro session with me to discuss healing from your trauma.]
If you have already done the healing work, that’s amazing! Now, you can truly dive into what you would need to feel safe within the relationship and your environment and ask for those things to be supported without bringing the trauma into your life today. These needs should be supported by your thoughts, words, and actions being in integrity.
Sharing your past experiences with someone can be a vulnerable and sensitive process. It’s crucial to assess whether revealing your trauma is necessary for the growth and health of your relationship. Remember, you are not obligated to share all of the nitty-gritty details of your story if you’re not ready or if it doesn’t serve you.
We don’t want this person to get the idea that you’re sick. Once that gets in somebody’s head that you’re sick, then they have an excuse for every ill behavior, reaction, and emotion to be because you’re a sick person, and you don’t need that.
Focus on building a foundation of trust, open communication, and mutual respect within your relationship. Establishing a safe space where you feel heard, valued, and respected is key to fostering a healthy and supportive connection with your partner. If you have these things, your safe space will come naturally.
Ultimately, your well-being should always come first. Trust your intuition and prioritize your well-being as you navigate your relationship and the journey you’re currently on.
With compassion and support,
Cherie Doyen